Children Learn What They Live
by Denis Waitley
An ancient Chinese proverb tells us, “A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark.” We cannot teach our children self-esteem. We can only help them discover it within themselves by adding positive marks and strokes on their slates. All positive motivation is rooted in self-esteem�the development of which, just as with other skills, takes praactice. Think of self-esteem as a four-legged chair.
A Sense of Belonging
The first leg of self-esteem is a sense of belonging. We all have a deep-seated need to feel we’re part of something larger than ourselves. This need, which psychologists call an affiliation drive, encompasses people, places and possessions. Our instinct for belonging�for being wanted, accepted, enjoyed and loved by close ones�-is extremely powerful. It explains the bond of an extended family, friends and teammates. It also explains why some adolescents join gangs. They want to belong, even if it’s wrong.
Make your children proud of their family heritage and make your home a place where they feel safe, loved and welcome. Also, make your home a place where your children want to bring their friends, rather than a place they want to leave as soon as possible.
A Sense of Individual Identity
The second leg, which complements the sense of belonging, is a sense of individual identity. No human being is exactly like another, not even an identical twin. We are all unique combinations of talents and traits that never existed before and will never exist again in…
Zig Ziglar counsels that saying “Yes” to our children on many occasions is very effective because it also teaches valuable lessons. “This approach changes you in the child’s eyes from being a person who wants to deny him or her a pleasure to a parent who is interested in helping the child perform in a better, more mature way. Your teenager might ask to use the car to run a few errands. You can say, ‘Yes, as soon as you wash it and if you will stop by the service station and fill it with gas on your way home.’ This way you’re teaching your child responsibility.”
Learn to Grow as a Family!
For more than three decades, best-selling authors and personal-achievement experts Zig Ziglar and Denis Waitley have spread their family-oriented messages of hope and optimism.
Quotes from The Experts
“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” Jim Rohn
“One should guard against preaching to young people success in the customary form as the main aim in life. The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result, and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community.” Albert Einstein
“To be a visionary parent, we need to keep working on ourselves, becoming forever new and improved.”
Mark Victor Hansen
